Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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