I hate your face
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
