You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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