I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
