swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize