Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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