the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
