he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
