return my video game
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He better not be in your backpack
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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