I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
