I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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