Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
