Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
