Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So. Much. Porn.
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