is your mom at the bar?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
