Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
