i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How does it feel to date your dad?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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