So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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