Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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