We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
