You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
