Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
id be glad to
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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