My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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