Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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