he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
