oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want her autograph on my taint
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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