Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
