shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
