thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
