I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Vodka?
Forever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
