I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
do nipples grow back?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
