she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
