I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He better not be in your backpack
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
