Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
