Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
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dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
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We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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