Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
