**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
