Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
