Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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