I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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