She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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