Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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