Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
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Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize