You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
