He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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