i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
