I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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