i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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