FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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