So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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