New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
