Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize