Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have fence marks all over my body
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
