Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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