do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
