I seem to have left my pride at pride
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
