No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
