i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
