Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
