its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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