why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
