we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
