He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
