had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
